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Saturday, May 14, 2011

Stop Calling it the Twitter Revolution!

Originally posted on Iranian.com on March 25, 2011
 
OK, I'm sorry but I cannot tolerate the term "Twitter Revolution" or "Facebook Revolution" any longer.

I find it highly insulting to the actual (not virtual) sacrifice that Iranians made when after 30 years they finally found the time in their busy day getting plastic surgery or whatever took them so long to figure it out, and to take to the streets risking life and limb and their new noses, to protest the current way of life that the Iranian government has been selling them as a showcase utopian Islamic way to live.

If you have tweeted, or if you have read a tweet, you know its nothing more than desperate for attention hope-filled blathering in the wilderness. For god's sake Sarah Palin Tweets, need I say more? If Ashton Kuthcher wasn't hot, would you even read his Tweets?

Anyone who agrees to meet up at a square or other location to begin their dangerous quest for freedom, just because their Tweet told them to, is an utter idiot. And deserves the waiting Police van when they get there. Does anyone think that in this day and age, the Iranian government doesn't know about Twitter? Why do you think most governments don't shut down the internet when things get interesting?

Wait, you do know that the internet in every country is connected to one big telecommunications switch right? And is as easy to shut off as you just imagined.
FaceBook? The best example of how FaceBook works (or doesn't) is the recent story of the Google employee in Egypt who was arrested for posting updates on the progress of the revolt in Tahrir square. FaceBook doesn't get to take credit for his bravery! It wasn't FaceBook who went to jail! FaceBook actually was the reason he went to jail! He was freed because the government fell, not because his FaceBook fans sent Teddy Bears or Hugs to the Egyptian Military!

The obscene assumption and claim that ANY of these revolts in progress can be attributed to any free service that is trying to merely con their investors into the illusion that "traffic" on a website somehow equals "monetization", even though most of the "users" are too busy flirting with the girls and guys they didn't fuck in high school, to click on any of the ridiculous ads, is insulting to those who stand up, and then walk into fire with only the thinnest hope and statistically even calculation that "there are more of us, than there are of them. They won't be able to kill us all. 

At least, I'm pretty sure they won't."

I'm sorry, but I refuse to think that I can understand the full effect and context of that feeling, in 140 characters or less. Or worse, by "Liking" it and turning my notifications "On".

The continued claim that any of these social networking sites, can take ANY credit for the sheer heroic courage that it takes a group of young and old people in ANY country to stand up, and take to the streets with only the hope and faith that they can turn and change their fate from the disastrous course it is on now, is utterly unacceptable, and at best a disgusting PR play for Goldman Sachs to rethink the number of zeroes on their investment offer, more seriously.

Is it really Social Networking? Or is it more likely Social Distortion?

Does anyone seriously believe that Zuckerberg ever cared about anything other than creating a foolproof system that finally made it so that the sexy cheerleader that would never go out with him, had no choice but to accept his friend request, and that he could finally turn to his fellow geeks and say with technically accurate certainty, "Dude, Tina McKenzie is my friend!"

But a Revolution? Nah! No way. Please don't dis-respect the newly emerging Arab world (and hopefully Iran this summer too!).

They've been through enough.

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